Five And One
by Incendia Glacies
Summary: A series of oneshots in the 5 times and 1 time something else happened: Chapter 1 - Mine: Written for the DWFest Day Four, Favourite Pairings. Summary: A new face called for new backstories. Five times Clara refused a cover story, and the one time they finally got it right.


**This was written for DWFest Day Four: Favourite Pairing, and of course I would choose whouffaldi! Enjoy! :D**

* * *

Things had been much simpler when the Doctor had looked younger. Even with that enormous chin and ridiculous bowtie, at least Clara and the Doctor hadn't attracted any unwanted attention whenever they said they were 'together' for a cover story. However, a new face called for new backstories. Especially since this new Doctor looked much older than Clara, that definitely caused some heads to turn in most Earthen time periods and a handful of planets. And it wasn't even the cover story that was the problem, it was that this Doctor (like most other versions) was quite possessive of the first face he ever saw, and therefore needed something proper to describe how important Clara was to him – without going into too many biological Timelord regeneration details and the imprinting of the face on his hearts and what-not. That was far too complicated for any simple minded species to understand. And if that hadn't been enough, then there was always Clara, who had a problem with everything the Doctor thought of.

* * *

"**Companion"**

"No," Clara said forcefully.

"What is wrong with calling you my companion? I've always called all the people that travelled with me my companion!" the Doctor argued.

Which may have been all well and fine, except the Doctor hadn't looked this old in a long time; and Clara really didn't appreciate the looks they got when they tried to stay in hotels. The hesitant confusion and then the mistaken understanding in which Clara immediately knew exactly what the person was thinking. No, companion made it sound like the Doctor was a married man and had hired a prostitute to spend the night with. And if not that, then they at the very least thought Clara was his mistress of some sort. Either way, Clara somehow always ended up looking like a sinful woman. That certainly wouldn't do.

Rather than express all these thoughts, Clara simply replied, "Exactly, all your other companions have been referred to as 'companions'. I thought you said I was different! I'm your first face after all, I should get a better title, don't you think?"

"So demanding," the Doctor muttered under his breath as he tinkered on his TARDIS.

Clara narrowed her eyes, "What was that?"

"Nothing dear! Just talking to myself!"

And so the search for the perfect moniker began.

* * *

"**Assistant"**

"You know you didn't have to get that angry with Vastra, she was only trying to be helpful," the Doctor said as he followed an angry Clara into the TARDIS.

"She knows I hate being called your assistant! I just don't see why she had to introduce me as your 'assistant' yet again, even though I told her not to," Clara huffed as she crossed her arms.

"To be fair, I've had plenty of assistants. In fact, that's how I met some of my companions in the past, by telling them they would be my assistant," the Doctor explained as he remembered Sarah Jane and Jo Grant.

"Assistant makes me sound like all I do is push a bunch of buttons on this stupid ship."

"What have I said about badmouthing my ship? She's a work of art," the Doctor chastised harshly. "It's okay dear, she didn't mean it," he cooed at the machinery as Clara rolled her eyes. He was kinder to his ship than he was to most other people.

"Would you like me to give you two some space?" Clara asked sarcastically.

The Doctor glared, "Shut up! And you do push buttons on the ship, nearly threw us into a black hole once! Which is why you're not allowed to drive her anymore."

"I already apologized for that. Besides, you know better than to leave the two of us alone for more than an hour. Bad things happen. And I don't _only_ push buttons, I do plenty more. Assistant is almost as bad as the time you called me your 'associate'."

The Doctor shrugged as he collapsed into his jump seat, "You were naked, I got distracted," he explained nonchalantly.

Clara smiled exasperatedly at him, "I'm still angry with you about that!" she leaned in close to him, "But I am not your assistant."

The Doctor gulped as he nodded weakly. As rough and rebellious as this new form of him might have seemed, when it came to Clara, he had learned not to upset his small and feisty companion. He was the Oncoming Storm and could stare down a murderous Dalek any day, but the second Clara got that steely look of determination in her eyes and used it against him…well he'd rather take on the merciless Dalek.

* * *

"**Girlfriend"**

This one should have worked perfectly. After all, by 21st century Earthen standards, the Doctor and Clara would have been considered dating, right? But of course, Clara had a problem with this too.

"You are not calling me your girlfriend," she stated.

"Why, what's wrong with that? I mean, are we not – because I thought-"

Clara rolled her eyes and pulled the taller man close to her, "Oh Doctor, of course we are. I mean I like to think we're in a relationship."

"Then what's wrong with calling you my girlfriend. I mean, even Danny calls you my girlfriend!"

Clara glared, "Like I care what Danny thinks," she never liked the fact that the Doctor had a second companion now. Even if he didn't come along that often, he still existed, and he took separate trips with the Doctor all by himself. Clara hated that.

"I thought you said you two were going to get along now?" the Doctor rubbed his temples tiredly.

"No, I never said that. You told me to, doesn't mean I have to."

"Of course, why make things easier for me?" the Doctor asked rhetorically, throwing his hands in the air and dropped into the chair.

"It's not like you ever make things easy for me either. This is payback," Clara smirked. It had taken much prodding and poking the first few months to get in the comfortable ease of constant bickering their relationship now held.

The Doctor smiled wryly, "Why can't I call you my girlfriend? Is it because I look-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence! I am not ashamed of you, and I'm getting tired of having to convince you otherwise!" Clara warned, wagging her finger in front of him.

"You say that, but you won't even let me call you my 'girlfriend'. In my last body you once pretended to be my wife."

"This has nothing to do with your physical age," Clara sighed as she settled into his lap, "You're already married."

"I suppose so; don't know what that has to do with this, though. That never stopped you last time."

"Last time I pretended to be your wife, I didn't know you were taken. Otherwise I never would have agreed to it. Besides, you've been married multiple times. And I don't even think you've ever gotten properly divorced, poor Lizzie must have waited ages for you. I'm not going to be just another girl that you forget about and leave behind."

"I can't imagine that happening to you," the Doctor said sincerely. This Doctor never made her empty promises at least, "But to be fair. My last wife did die, so technically speaking I'm widowed I suppose."

"Technically speaking, by that logic you were widowed before you were even married!"

"Life of a time traveler," the Doctor offered sheepishly.

"Well, your so-called dead wife interrupted my class two weeks ago, remember?"

"Vaguely," the Doctor admitted not liking where this was heading.

"She introduced herself as your _wife_, and since you had already told my students I was your _girlfriend_, can you imagine how that made _me_ look?" Clara asked angrily.

"Not that great, I'd imagine?"

"I looked like a bloody homewrecker! I am not going to be put in that position again!"

"That's not my fault! It's River's. Besides, she doesn't travel with us that often."

"Often enough. I mean I'm having tea with her next week."

"You're having tea with my ex-wife?" the Doctor asked wide-eyed.

"Yes, she promised to show me the ancient runes from 31st century temples, it sounds fascinating."

"Since when do you have tea with River Song?"

"I don't know. A couple of months, I suppose I forgot to tell you."

"How do you forget something like that?"

Clara scowled, "How did you forget to mention that you had a wife?"

The Doctor winced, "Alright, I deserved that. So you're not going to approve to the girlfriend status?"

"Nope, that hardly describes our relationship at all, now does it?"

Now that he thought about it, the Doctor supposed they were a bit too unconventional to fit under the boyfriend-girlfriend umbrella. He'd have to let that label go.

"And you're still going to have tea with River?"

"Why, does it bother you?" Clara grinned.

"A bit, yes."

"Then yes."

* * *

"**Niece"**

After the last few mishaps, the Doctor had given up on any title that gave rise to a romantic affair of any sort. No he'd try a different approach this time. The 'niece' cover story could have worked quite well. Even with Clara glaring at him every few minutes, it was no secret that a familial cover story would be the easiest to play off given the physical age difference. No one suspected either of them to be involved in any scandalous or adulterous affairs, so it would have gone swimmingly.

Had Clara not let her jealousy get the best of her.

"I can't believe you just did that," a shell-shocked Doctor followed the young woman into his ship.

"Oh they'll get over it! We just won't come back for a while, yeah? Let the rumours die down a bit," Clara dismissed, not wanting to talk about her previous actions.

"Clara. You just completely blew our cover! It was perfect," the Doctor whined.

"If you think calling me your _niece_ is perfect, then you've got a lot of problems. Besides, we already saved the planet; we didn't need a cover story anymore."

"I can't believe you did that," the Doctor repeated as he threw the lever and hurtled them both into the time vortex.

"That woman was flirting with you right in front of me!" Clara yelled, "How did you think I was going to react? I mean you saved her planet from burning and getting conquered, which is great and all, but then she was all over you."

"She was thanking me," the Doctor argued.

"She was making a move on you. Don't tell me you didn't notice."

The Doctor leaned against the console, "I didn't. I did however notice her talking to me, and then out of nowhere, you had your tongue down my throat."

"Are you complaining?" Clara grabbed the lapels of his jacket so that she could look him in the eyes.

"What? About a kiss like that? Never Ms. Oswald. In fact, we should definitely do that more often," the Doctor laughed, more soberly he continued, "But I didn't notice her intentions. Honest."

"She was very pretty," Clara wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

"I didn't notice. She's wasn't you," the Doctor tugged at her and pulled her into a tight hug.

Clara mumbled against the Doctor's jacket, "I can't believe you said I was your _niece_."

"Well you wouldn't let me pretend that you were my daughter!"

Clara shuddered, "Neither of us want that! I don't care if there is an age difference, you are never playing my father. We don't even have the same accent."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "Aliens don't care about that. All they care is that we both look humanoid, it's completely plausible. Besides, River's mum had a Scottish accent. And if it's a problem, _I can always sound British,_" he mimicked Clara's accent for the last bit.

"Don't ever do that. Besides, I happen to think your Scottish accent sounds a lot sexier," Clara giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Oh, is that so?" the Doctor asked gruffly. Clara hummed in confirmation.

"No more familial relationships," Clara begged, "I don't ever want to be fake-related to you. I can't stand it when those women get flirty with you. Especially when they start to get handsy with you," she continued bitterly the jealousy seeping through.

"You're getting quite handsy right now, aren't you love?" the Doctor teased.

She leaned in close and whispered against his lips, "I'm Clara, I'm allowed to."

"Yes, I suppose you are," the Doctor murmured in agreement.

"Besides, I want to be able to kiss you whenever I want to," Clara hinted.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "Like right now?"

"Exactly like right now," and with that Clara connected their lips and ended the conversation.

* * *

"**Danny's Girlfriend"**

This was another title that Clara truly despised and argued against for many days with the Doctor. However, like playing his 'niece', it was another role that was easily accepted. And it was quite common of people to assume that Clara and Danny were together as opposed to Clara and the Doctor, much to his chagrin. So despite the fact that Clara glared at her so-called boyfriend, made biting comments and was much more physically affectionate with the Doctor than she would ever be with Danny, people were much more receptive to the idea of the two teachers being in a relationship. All in all, the problem should have been solved. Granted, Danny couldn't always travel with them (not that Clara wanted him to anyways), but when he did they put on the charade when needed and Clara was still allowed to spend the majority of her time with her Doctor.

It should have worked. And it did for quite some time. Until Danny decided to go and kiss the next prettiest alien girl he saw on a planet that was strictly monogamous. The only good part was that Clara got to slap him and pretend he was a horrible cheating boyfriend before the three of them scurried onto the TARDIS…where Danny was still complaining about the quickly forming bruise on his cheek.

"I'm serious Doc, she slaps hard." Clara glared at her fellow coworker from her post next to the Doctor.

"She punches even harder," the Doctor assured, "Still, you deserved it. What were you thinking? Cheating on Clara like that."

Danny stared at him incredulously, "You do realize we're not actually dating, right?"

"You were once," the Doctor dismissed.

"That was one date and it means nothing," Clara interrupted.

"Agreed," Danny rushed, "Besides, you spied on us the entire time."

"Not the entire time," the Doctor snapped, "I have better things to do then follow two humans around on their dates. Besides, you were pretending to be her boyfriend Danny, you could have done it with _some_ conviction."

"I'm sorry, would you have rather me kissed her as opposed to the hot alien girl?"

"No!" Clara gagged, "But couldn't you have chosen another planet where the charge for adultery isn't certain death. Especially before you kiss the king's daughter?"

"She didn't tell me she was a princess! How was I supposed to know? Sheesh, you two take me to see the universe and I can't even enjoy all the fine women because for some reason you have me parading around as Clara's boyfriend. Now why is that?"

The Doctor sighed and dragged his hands down his face, "It's Clara's fault."

"It is not! Like I'd ever want to be Danny's girlfriend," Clara disputed.

"Still, Clara's the one that won't let me call her my companion anymore. Or my girlfriend. Or my niece. So no informal, romantic or familial relationships allowed. It doesn't leave me with many options."

"So if Clara has so many problems with it, why doesn't she just pick something?" Danny asked the obvious.

"Well, because, I-" Clara spluttered.

"No, Danny's got a point.," the Doctor reached an epiphany and whirled on Clara, "How come I've got to decide if you've got the problem? I've given you plenty of options. Either you pick one of them, or come up with something yourself!" the Doctor barked at her before leaving his two travelling companions alone in the room.

Clara turned to Danny and glowered at him, "Now you see this? This is exactly why I don't like it when you come along." Clara huffed and left the room in search of the Doctor.

Danny let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. The Doctor was right, Clara was scary.

* * *

"**Mine"**

And so it went on. The pair continued to travel to different worlds, and the Doctor always felt a bit of vindictive joy whenever Clara had to introduce them to others and could only come up with 'friend' or 'companion'. He shouldn't have taken so much pleasure in her rushed excuses, but she always looked adorable whenever she got nervous.

Except the problem was that they were right back where they started from: informal monikers. Apparently some people didn't understand just how precious Clara was to the Doctor, this was made rather clear when the Doctor turned the corner of the palace they were staying in and found one of the guards attempting to flirt with the Doctor's Clara.

"Would you leave me alone already!" Clara yelled and tried to back away from the overbearing guard.

"Where are you going?" the guard asked lewdly.

The Doctor saw red as the man grabbed Clara's wrist, "I believe the woman said to leave her alone." The Doctor punctuated every word, adding venom in every syllable.

"Oh and what are you going to do about it?"

The Doctor placed a hand on Clara's lower back, grabbing a fistful of her dress to stop himself from punching the other man.

"I assure you, the only reason you're still alive and standing is because Clara hasn't given me permission to kill you. Yet."

"Oh yeah?" the guard sneered again, "And who exactly is she to you?"

"I'm his…" Clara tried to speak up, but couldn't finish her sentence. How could she even begin to describe their complex relationship?

"Well, you heard her. She's _mine_. Now leave my Clara alone," the Doctor glared at the man.

The guard's eyes widened as he finally understood the threat the Doctor had given him. He dropped the brunette's arm like hot coal and scampered down the hall and out of sight.

"The nerve of that guy! I will be having words with the Emperor, you can be sure of that. That guard should not be allowed on palace grounds," the Doctor ranted before turning to his human companion.

"Are you alright Clara? Did he hurt you?" he asked softly.

He forgot sometimes that Clara was stronger than she looked and wasn't easily shaken. Instead of crying or looking broken, the woman had a bright smile on her face.

"What?" the Doctor asked confused.

"You said I'm yours," Clara grinned as she faced him.

"Yes, I suppose I did. I thought that was rather obvious. You're my Clara, always have been and always will be," the Doctor stated the obvious.

"Yes, I know. But you didn't say girlfriend or companion. Just yours," Clara smiled up at him as she fidgeted with the buttons on his jacket.

The Doctor smiled back cautiously realizing what she meant, "Yes I did, is that okay? Can that be our thing? Can I call you just 'mine'?"

It seemed so simple. _His. _That was all Clara ever was to the Doctor. _His_ impossible girl. _His_ first face. _His_ girlfriend. _His_ companion. _His_ Clara. Whichever way you spun it; there was always one basic fact: Clara was his. And much later, when the Daleks would attack or the Sontarans would take her hostage, the Doctor would always let this simple fact be known. Clara was his, and the Doctor was possessive and protective. Don't touch Clara. Ever. Otherwise he really would live up to his title of being a Beast and do anything to get his Clara back.

And knowing the Doctor's protective nature, Clara now simply asked, "Just yours?"

The double meaning was obvious. Not only a title that was missing an obvious girlfriend/friend or any other nonsense. But also the fact that Clara was now his in the same way he was _her_ Doctor. Just the two of them, and then the rest of the universe, she liked the idea of that.

"Yes," the Doctor agreed as he wrapped her into a hug, "Just _mine_."

* * *

**And there you have it, hopefully the first of many 5+1 fics. Drop a review if you have the time please! :D**


End file.
